Girl, what's your deal?

Girl, what's your deal?

If you've scrolled my Instagram feed or have been around here for a while you'll notice that I'm... a little all over the place. In more ways than one. But a really obvious one is in the style of my art and offerings over time. If you, too, are thinking, "What the hell is she doing?" don't worry, you are in good company!

I started exploring my creativity with paint and paper. Then I learned about laser cutters and decided I wanted one because I could make *so much cool shit* with one. I learned how to use Adobe Illustrator and designed a collection of hand-drawn earrings, laser cut them and painted those. When the dopamine stopped flowing I moved on to loose and wild abstracty painted wood panels that I cut into earrings and wall hangings. 

A few months ago a dear friend asked for help designing a frame that could house her embroidery and be used for earrings and I had a huge ah-ha moment which landed us where we are today. At the time of this writing I'm having an absolutely fantastical time creating art from fabric and wood. I love fabric, always have and always will. And at some point I'll maybe probably move on to other ways to explore fabric and art because that's just how my brain works. I'd like to try my hand at block printing and ecoprinting and natural dyeing and who knows what else. 

You see, here's the thing... I show up in my little corner of the world first as an artist and multi-faceted human and then as a business owner. And let me tell you, this is absolutely not business advice-- all the business teaching says I should be doing the exact opposite. And that's just too bad. (Those same people would probably say I shouldn't say "fuck" so much either. Womp.) Beyond offering handmade art to bring you joy, there is a deeper aim behind the space that I'm cultivating here and that is this: To live so authentically that others feel permission to do the same. And to excercise my integrity muscle as often as possible so I never lose sight of that state of being myself. 

I spent a good thirty years of my one precious life trying to color inside the lines. To do things the right way. To be good and good enough. Fuck all that. Toss it in the lake. It's hooey. It's not bad business advice, I suppose. But it's trash life advice. And my art is my life. My art and creative process are an unapologetic, chaotic unraveling of the mess that inhabits the insides of me. I absoolutely do not create calm from chaos. I am a tornado with cute accessories. But I do create beauty from chaos and I like myself this way. 

When I am living authentically and in integrity with who I am I embody and embrace parts of me that I spent a lot of time and energy (and alcohol) trying to mask and squish and stuff down. I am neurodivergent. I am mentally ill. I am in recovery. I am unlearning my conditioning to be a chameleon in order to fit in. I am unlearning my conditioning to avoid vulnerability at all costs. I am learning my natural and cyclical rhythms. I am learning what I enjoy doing with my time. I am evolving and transforming by allowing myself to explore and play and romanticize the mundane parts of life. All of this is what makes me magical and wonderful and me and I'm unwilling to allow the churn of capitalism to steal it from me so that I can sell stuff. 

So if you are wondering, "Carrie, how long will you be making XYZ?" the answer is: I have no clue. Either until I wake up one morning and cannot stomach making it anymore or until I discover something else that lights me up. It is what it is, my friends, and I am so grateful that you have decided to ride these creative waves with me. 

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